Unmasked!

Ok, so my 10 year old son read my last post and proceeded to mock me in the voice of a teenage valley girl - and totally nailed it.

First he caught a typo - that I had to change because he was so embarrassed - since he's the self proclaimed "grammar king" in his middle school.

It was really funny and disconcerting at the same time - I'll post a video of him doing it.

I think I'll take a break from writing now - because, I don't know about you but whenever I go back and read an old post I cringe with horror. Then I thank God no one's reading it anyway!

Rebellious me

Watched a NYTimes Video of Bill Cunningham's that I thoroughly enjoyed. "A Breath of Fresh Air". http://nyti.ms/1BcC0wZ Basically highlighting young artists dressed up very creatively - love those non-conformists!

Also watched a beautiful piece "In the Studio | Giambattista Valli" -  http://nyti.ms/1zTsWIo Makes me want to put something together - something pretty, sculptural, using the finest of fabrics, textures, details. You can see how he paints incredible and inspiring pieces of art these with these elements. Who cares wear you where them and if... I just want to look at them all day or find an occasion.

The idea that there is such an importance on social media success really goes against who am personally. Don't get me wrong, I like being recognized and respected but ultimately it ends up feeling like I'm selling myself and not quite getting to that nirvana of being appropriately understood.

Does all this rampant need of "likes" and acknowledgement mean that we're all narcissistic. Does my unwillingness to follow the popular path mean I will never "succeed"... that's bullshit because I already feel I have.

It would be inauthentic for me to start posting just for the sake of getting noticed - I'll save it for when I have something to say and let the chips fall where they may. Thats more of who I am.

Not all of us wanted to be the "popular" kids in high school. I preferred to observe and support - experience all that was around me. Schools have a way with making you feel like it's part of life's success to be popular - be the cheerleader, be the quarterback, the prom queen... as if that all meant so much and to strive for those titles were the end all - the ultimate - the purpose.

I could care less. I was happy for these people. Happy because it made them happy - good for them, seriously. I just want to live my life - find people who had interesting things to say, something deeper than - the latest gossip about who is dating who.

I just remembered this girl in high school who the thought of makes me want to slap her. Why? What could she possibly have done or said to make me want to slap her? It probably wouldn't make sense me explaining it but I will try.

She was a popular girl. Attractive, talented - in theatre, sang... happy for her. But she always seemed to try so hard - and I guess thats what it takes to get where she was, right? by trying? She competed in the Townships "Miss [so and so]" - I don't know who won.. maybe she did - who knows - it didn't matter to me. What annoyed me was he blatant need for that kind of recognition. Why? I don't know. Maybe because it felt needy, fake, a show, not based on anything real.

Anyway, that's not why I wanted to slap her. A lot of people annoy me. I heard Jerry Seinfeld talk about how the driver of his comedy is constant annoyance... and I totally relate.

One night as a Senior (??) I went on a double date with her and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend happened to be a guy I had a major crush on in 9th grade. You know the one where you write his name in patterns all over the covers of all of your notebooks... that kind. (btw, this guy was so not like anyone I am or would be attracted to today - he was cute - but very very pinkish pale, blond, blue-eyed...) He is not my type AT ALL. But back then, I had that crush.

I don't remember why we went on this double date in the first place. Oh right, my boyfriend at the time had been good friends with her (even had secretly, not so secretly wanted to date her at one point) - so somehow we all went out.

We went to the Mediterranean Snack Bar in Huntington Station. It was a cool Greek place that had awesome Spanakopita near the theatre that played movies like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and The Song Remains the Same, and The Kids are Alright.

While we are there - she made some "joke" likening me to some cartoon character I had never heard of "Droopy Dog" Lol, I laugh now because it is so ridiculous... but at the time I was mortified! I just looked Droopy Dog up and I see no resemblance. I'll post it. You tell me!?

Droopy Dog

What annoyed me most was that she plays it off so cooly like its nothing - but it was totally humiliating. What I got from the whole situation was that she felt competitive with me and had to keep her upper hand with my boyfriend who for so long was her "puppy" and now liked me. (I ended up marrying him after college ... as if that's proof enough)

Listen, she was pretty but she had flaws - no lips for one thing. But was I sitting there saying in a flippant manor that she had a face like a fish? NO! I would never do that - even if I hated her guts. (she really had no lips, jokes aside)

I never liked her after that episode. She's a complete idiot! I don't like people that think that they can play me for a fool, stab me in the back, throw me under the bus. Who would?! I can see right through them and they are not worth my time.

Droopy Dog! Slap! If I look like ANY kind of dog its not this one.

Yea, I'm rebellious ... of idiots.