Trash and Vaudeville

I just finished cleaning out my office and my son's room. I only scratched the proverbial surface of my son's room by at least being able to walk into it and not be completely horrified.

He's a hoarder for sure. Love him dearly and maybe he's just a typical boy - but omg he's a pack rat. 

Deflated balloons from his birthday party, empty glasses, bowls and silverware from bowls of breakfast cereal, Mac and cheese, plates of chicken nuggets with leftover ketchup. How is this child related to me?!

I keep the door closed so that I don't see the filth but I know it's there and I know that at some point I have to go into that hovel and purge. If only I could completely tile it and hose it down periodically with a disinfectant solution using a power washer - ahhh that would be satisfying.

Oh, he likes when it's clean - don't get me wrong! Loves going in there after I've hauled out the trash bags. He just doesn't love it enough to clean it himself.

Love that kid - truly.

dear diary

Good: 

I woke up yesterday

wanting more creative freedom.

I left a major client

who took too much time

away from

sarinablackheart.

Immediately after I left

I felt a burst of energy, ideas and enthusiasm about this

new found freedom.

Like a rush of dopamine

moving through your brain

when you fall in love.

Immediately addictive.

I won't waste that.

I'm grateful for for 28 consecutive years and couldn't ever imagine

doing anything else.

I'll give it a 7.

Bad:

You work crazy hours to meet  unnecessarily truncated lead times

in the development process. 

I'm not a litigator but ignorance

saps my creativity.

It starts to feel like work

instead of something I love.

Like I do it just

for the money. 

heartless.

IMHO many businesses

have no idea

what they are doing. 

Wondering why brands 

as if by magic

don't just

sell themselves.

Someone told me recently that their company was looking for a graphic designer without an ego. Really?!   

Back to good: 

I am loving playing my guitar and look forward to getting my custom sarinablackheart Martin guitar.

It should be ready by December.

My lessons are going well

and I've come to the conclusion

that the more I learn the harder it is...

or - the more I learn the more

I realize how much I don't know. 

12 bar blues is still tough for me.

My new most hated chord is the B. It seems impossible.

I'm almost in the market for a puppy!

and I've also been designing my new open concept kitchen/living room renovation and hoping we get to start it soon!!! I watch way too much HGTV. 

Patience. 

I witnessed a bat having babies

and recorded it on my iPhone.

I especially like that my son and I

narrate it. It's unscripted, funny and it makes the video.

I write this thing like I'm writing a diary don't I? Just trying to reach deeper.

Past | Future

Me | You

You | I

Us | Them

...more Manichaeisms