The ideas don't come to me on demand. Most of my genius comes to me when I'm sitting in the hot tub looking at the stars. It's amazing how many I have then! I tell myself that I have to write them down later and then I inevitably fall asleep.
So I sit here in front of my keyboard completely confounded as to how I could forget such brilliance.
Frustrating.
I picked up my guitar yesterday for the first time in two weeks. My fingers hurt because the calluses wore down and the playing sucked because my nails grew a bit too long - but it felt great just as well and I played the songs I knew best - so I could practice... Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here" and The Decemberist's "Why we Fight".
I like to sing too, and it helps me get into it emotionally... pretty sure it wouldn't be entertaining to anyone else but me, but that's totally not the point.
When I'm playing I lose myself in a sense, or maybe it's the opposite - I lose a sense of the world around me. It's such a gift to be able to entertain yourself that way. Feeling that rhythm and being able to express the emotion in the song by controlling the pressure you place on the strings, intensifying the volume and tension.
I know little about how to read music - and don't, I just feel my way through it, learn the chords to favorite songs and just play.
I'm my own rock star. I don't need anyone to validate that for me.
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